Domestic Abuse Resistance Team (DART) logo

Facts and Information

Cycle of Violence

In many violent relationships, some things happen over and over.

First the batterer’s anger begins to build. The woman may try to make it better, but nothing works. She worries that she may get hurt.

Soon, the batterer explodes with anger. After the violence, both people may feel angry, confused, shocked, tired, and hurt.

A loving stage often follows. Neither partner wants to believe what happened.

The batterer says he’s sorry. He may cry, send flowers, make promises, or beg her not to leave. He may threaten to kill himself (or her) if she leaves.

BATTERING WON’T GO AWAY. Battering usually gets worse over time. The woman must recognize the problem and seek help. She needs to realize that there is nothing wrong with her- it’s the abuser, he wants power and control over her. She does not cause his actions; it is his choice to abuse her. She can’t change him.


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